A taste of the good stuff. To remember and honor, Dad, Grandpa, and the 450,000 men and women who loved this country so much, that they gave their lives in defense of the ideals that the United States of America was founded on. Every year, I take a taste and thank them. I pray for them and their families. And, for my friends who served and lost comrades in arms. I thank you for the pain you have endured with that loss. It is the very least that I can do for strangers that paid for my freedom with their own blood. Rest in peace. I will be eternally grateful for your sacrifice.
A few years ago a friend of mine, AnnMarie Wyncoll, suggested I try clotted cream and jam on my crumpets. It has taken me a long time to track down a source for clotted cream here in Wisconsin. Most of the store managers I asked about it, didn’t have a clue what it was. I could have made my own and probably will going forward. But, I wanted to try the commercial stuff first. Well, this week, I stumbled into a jar of the real thing!!
With much fanfare my wife warmed up the crumpets, got out my favorite black raspberry jam, the new jar of clotted cream, and a hot cuppa coffee. OMG! Heaven!
I wish I could get in touch with AnnMarie to thank her for introducing me to this tasty treat.
The garden has been put to bed. A thin blanket of snow covers the crawling rocks up the hill. The hunting season for whitetails is over. Ice skims over the lakes. The wind shifts, coming out of the northeast, picking up tempo, driving the remaining leaves before it. The snowplow replaces the lawn mower at pole position in the garage. Old manuscript set aside in favor of a blank computer screen. A seemingly endless supply of decoration containers rotate into the house, only to rotate back into the garage after their contents adorns the halls of the manor. Warm fire. Hot tea. Hot shower. Flannel sheets, down comforter, heavy quilt, and purring cats await.
A critical part of any story is the arc of the character’s life as it traverses the plotline. The character must grow and/or change in some way during the course of the story to generate interest and tension. The reader expects and demands that the character to change in response to actions and events that engage with the character.
Some writers carefully plan every aspect of this change for each member of their cast. They develop piles of notes which include every cause and effect, action and reaction, beginning personality profile and end-state profile. They meticulously control each character to ensure that the ending exactly what they imagined it would be when they began the story.
Other writers start off with their basic character idea and let the character develop as the story unfolds, growing and changing based on the environment as it is encountered. At times, the character may act in a way that is unexpected or seemingly irrational. These actions may take the story in a direction the writer did not mean for the story to go.
So, what happens if the character’s arc veers wildly from its original path? The writer may have to make a decision whether to let the character’s arc continue in this new direction, or use a heavy hand and bring the character back in line within the original intention. Allowing the new direction can be exciting and very rewarding. However, the writer must trust the character. This is not always an easy thing to do, especially for new writers or untested characters.
Choosing to use the heavy hand and make major edits can be even more daunting and has caused some writers to start over at the beginning or even scrap a project completely. Character arcs are that important!
What happens then, when a writer reflects on his or her own life arc and is unsatisfied with where it is at? Perhaps they have not reached the goals they set for themselves by the time they reached their current age. Or maybe, their personality has changed due to life experiences and they are no longer the happy go lucky person they once were. Or, an accident or illness has left them unable to live the life they had dreamed of. Does a writer have choices regarding their ability to respond to their own life arc? Of course they do.
Granted, going back and rewriting ones life is not something that is currently possible. At least as far as I am aware. However, a writer can choose to accept their arc as it is, or they can choose to make changes that will alter the course of that arc in the future. Just like any other character, I might add. The choices and possible alternatives may or may not have limits depending on what the change entails and the actions required to affect the change. But as every writer knows, lots of little changes can have a huge impact on a character by the end of a story.
I noticed recently, after watching my wife interacting with several individuals in the grocery store, that I am not as nice a person as I used to be. I rarely smile and say, “Hi” to people I meet on the street. Offering to help someone in need is not automatic like it once was. Cynicism is a major mode of communication for me. When I asked my wife about my observation, we came up with all sorts of great excuses for my “shift” in behavior. Things like: lines of work, work environment, media, politics, social media, toxic personal relationships with family and friends, and lack of adequate stress relievers were just a few. As I said, these are just excuses.
To me it appears that changing my arc is simple, but not easy. It is about making better choices. I choose to smile and say, “Hi” to the cashier when I pay for my gasoline and coffee. I choose to to not watch ABC or CNN news. I choose to adjust my schedule to ensure that I spend more time writing and less time listening to or reading comments from individuals who might push my buttons. In other words, I’m taking the small changes approach to altering my character arc. I’ll let you know how it goes.
I’m not a big fan. But not for the reasons you might think.
COVID-19? Just another disease that science and the medical community won’t find a cure for. Cures are far less cost effective than treatments. Also, finding one is no guarantee that it will ever make it to implementation. Same reason as above. Corrupt politicians? That’s redundancy if I even heard it. Civil unrest? Really? Nothing new there. I lived through the sixties, seventies, and eighties.
No. What caused me the most pain this year was realizing the loss of so many people. Friends, family members, people I work with, people I grew up with, went to school with, laughed and cried with. These people did not physically die. But they vanished just the same.
I’m talking about people who were once extremely intelligent, caring, compassionate, sharp thinking, independent, analytical, creative, humorous, kind, rational, problem solving types. They vanished. The shells that remain cannot think for themselves. They believe what strangers on digital displays tell them, without asking questions, without demanding context or intent. They have become reactionary to words and actions without consideration of intent, becoming offended and outraged without rational consideration or discourse.
Many interesting dialogues were had with these people. Disagreements rarely ended with raised voices let alone raised fists or bloodshed. The ability to hear an argument, rationalize it, and respond intelligently without taking offense is the cornerstone of debate. It’s called conversation. Communication. Have we really lost the ability to communicate with each other? Face to face, not looking into a digital display.
How many posts on social media were removed because a simple question degenerated to name calling and worse between friends? Would this happen if the conversation was taking place face to face? I wonder. I can not tell you how much it hurt to see this happen over and over. I wanted to step in and comment to defuse the situation, but I will not engage in reactionary melee with those who get there truth from strangers without applying critical thought. It doesn’t make me right. It just means that only then can I respect that your view is truly yours.
I watched far too many people vanish this year. People I cared about. My wish for 2021 is for those lost people to return and introduce themselves.
P.S. If this offends you in any way, I will not apologize. Instead, please go to the closest mirror and ask your reflection, “Why have you given Dennis so much control over your life that you let him offend you with a few words on a digital display?” Then listen carefully to the answer that you receive and apply that same question to every communication you engage in. Or, send me a message and ask my why. You may find your way back.
In part 1, I spoke about writer’s groups. In part 2, I covered some of the the pros and cons of workshops. So today we have retreats. Actually, I wish I was going to a retreat today. Quiet, solitude, beverage of choice, inspirational scenery, uninterrupted time to write, what’s not to like? Whether it’s a full-blown professionally run retreat at a luxury resort with twelve other writers that costs a bunch of money, or heading up to the cabin for a week by yourself, or renting a room at the local motel with your writing partner and ordering pizza for a weekend, a writing retreat can be just the ticket.
Like the other groups we talked about retreats vary greatly in size and scope so be sure you know what you are getting into before you spend your hard-earned money. Some retreats focus entirely on the act of writing, putting words on the page/screen as fast as you can. Others include mini workshops with the other attendees to provide some instant feedback and to talk through rough patches or potential ideas. Still others are structured affairs resembling multi-day workshops where editing is the name of the game.
I believe that the key to any style of retreat is to be prepared. Yes, that’s the Eagle Scout in me coming out. But nevertheless, being prepared can make or break your retreat. Make a list of what you think you will need, not just for the act of writing. Food, beverages, a good place to sleep are all important. Clean clothes are optional if it’s just you, but I would recommend regular bathing as it helps the mental aspects of writing as well. And, if you’re with a larger retreat it’s down right mandatory if you want a return invitation next year.
With regards to the act of writing, I recommend you have a backup method with you. Power grids can go down in a storm, laptop batteries can fail, and power cords can break. A good old-fashioned spiral-bound notebook or legal pads and several pencils and pens can be your most important items in your writing bag. Frankly, anyone who doesn’t carry a writer’s notebook and pen with them wherever they go should question whether or not they are a serious writer. If you insist on writing on a computer, do not leave home without an external backup source. Save your work often. I prefer an mini external hard drive but I never travel without at least a new, formatted, usb drive. You just spent 3 days of vacation banging out 30,000 brilliant words to finish off your novel, your hard drive suddenly crashes, and you realize that not once during the writing marathon did you hit SAVE! It is not something you ever want to experience.
Along with food and water, you may find that you hit a wall, mentally or physically. Retreats are supposed to be fun, so take a break, go for a walk, go fishing or shopping, perhaps a swim. Let your mind and body recover/recharge. This is where the structured retreats can be helpful. Usually they have planned events to provide those down-time opportunities. Often an informal gathering around the fireplace/campfire or dinner table can result in inspiration that takes your story to a new level.
Like the other types of groups, do your research and determine if the format is what you are looking for. If it is, I highly recommend this form of writing event. Have fun and good writing!
An old Native American saying “Do not criticize your brother until you have walked a mile in his moccasins.”
I have always liked that saying because it helped me to look at all sides of an issue before making a judgement. I’m not perfect at it but I do try to listen to arguments first.
I was never in debate in school and I had to pull out my yearbook to find out if we had a debate team. However, the rules of debate, as I have heard them, is you must prepare arguments for either side because you do not know ahead of time which side you will represent. It would force you to fully understand your opponent’s position before the debate began. What a novel concept! Let’s come back to that idea.
The last two years have been rather challenging for me. There have been many family issues, sale and purchasing of homes, packing, moving and unpacking, liquidating a family members material estate, etc. Because my mind has been tied up with more important issues, I have not posted much on social media. I have scrolled through Facebook on occasion to check up on friends but have not done much in the way of comments. But, frankly, what I have seen on social and conventional media of late makes me wonder if I really want to participate at all.
Individuals choosing to polarize themselves away from long-time relationships because of differing opinions when it is fairly obvious the opposing position is not fully understood. Nor does it appear there is any desire to understand the opposing position. Great wars have been waged and millions of people killed because two individuals were unwilling to openly look at each other’s position.
The next time you find yourself getting angry at a stranger/friend/family member, stop and take a step back and ask why.
Why am I getting angry?
Why is this person acting this way? Don’t immediately answer, “Because he/she is a narcissistic SOB.” If you can, ask them why to their face. You don’t know this person as well as you may think you do. You may not know that they are having the worst day of their lives. Maybe they just found out their child was arrested or their spouse was cheating on them. Bottom line…YOU don’t know!!!
If your response is “I don’t care!” then you’ve found the problem. It’s you!
Tales From The Hare 