RSS

Author Archives: Dennis Langley

Happy Holy Days

24 Dec
From my family to yours!

From my family to yours!

HAPPY HOLY DAYS!!

Whatever, your belief system, this time of year is special. Everyone celebrates the season for different reasons and that’s okay. Different is good. Different is interesting. I love to read posts about how the season is celebrated by others. Whether it’s midnight mass, Chinese food and a movie, staying up at an all night bonfire, or exchanging gifts, it’s all good. Some people bake, others volunteer for a charity, still others work through the holidays so that their co-workers can be with family. Some people practice their beliefs actively and openly while others are private and seemingly don’t celebrate at all. It’s all good.

Regardless of what the celebrations are called, there are common threads that weave through each belief system. Things like gathering with family and friends, being kind and giving to the less fortunate, giving thanks for what life has brought us, remembering the previous year, looking forward with anticipation to the upcoming year.

I am 100% certain that I do not believe in or practice my beliefs the same way you do. That’s okay with me. I cherish the fact that we can believe as we please and celebrate our differences. So long as we don’t demand that others believe as we do, it’s all good.

Whatever you are celebrating and however you are celebrating it, I wish you well. Happiness, health and prosperity to you and your families in the upcoming new year.

Ho, Mitakuye Oyasin!

 
2 Comments

Posted by on December 24, 2013 in Musings and Odd Thoughts

 

Tags: , , , , , ,

Performance Review Time

21 Dec
Really? You want me to do what?

Really? You want me to do what?

The end of the year brings forth a ritual that is timeless in its age and vicious in its intent. Annual Job Performance Reviews. These four words strike fear into the hearts of most employed persons. Not only because the outcome of the review dictates annual insults raises, but the process itself has become painful. Sort of like, “I’d rather drag my naked body across a mile of broken glass as write my performance review.”

Okay, take a minute to get that picture out of your head…

Close enough. Let’s press on. In the “old days”, sometime before Christmas, the boss would call you into his office. You would sit down and wipe your sweaty palms on your knees praying that you would still have a job when you left. The boss would tell you what a great job you did for him over the past year. You would pick your mouth up off the floor. The boss would then say you were getting a raise at some percentage above the cost of living increase. He would then hand you an envelope and say Merry Christmas. you would open the envelope, see the size of the bonus check and praise god that you could now go buy gifts for the family. You would thank you boss, skip from his office, and quickly go to the garage and defuse the bomb you had attached to his car just in case… 🙂

My how things have changed thanks to some genius in Human Resources (HR).

Now most companies handle it this way. The week before Christmas, the boss sends you an email with multiple attachments. The email states that’ “You are required to complete the attached Performance Evaluation Form, the 2014 Developmental Goals template, and the Goal Tracking Sheet. All documents must be completed and returned to me no later than January 6th. The Executive Team has set the maximum increase allowed for an “Exceeds Expectation Rating” at 1.24%.”

You open the Performance Evaluation Form and see six pages. Each page has two sets of blanks. A large blank with the heading, “Employees comments” and a small blank with the heading, “Reviewer’s Comments”. Each page has a header with some obscure general term that leaves interpretation wide open. For example: Teamwork, Communication, Commitment, Functionality. If you’re lucky, there may be a handful of bullet points listed to help you understand what the Psychology Professors in HR think is important to you doing your job. If not, you are completely on your own to provide comments for your review. In addition to the Evaluation, you must come up with developmental goals that you must achieve over the next twelve months. Too easy and you will be asked to change them, too hard and you kill your review for next year. HR says you need at three or four goals but your boss wants seven or eight.

Those of you who have not been through this process are probably saying, “Great, I’ll just say that I am the greatest thing since sliced bread and I deserve a huge raise and a company car.” Foolish mortals! There is a rule that you have not considered. “He who wields the pen last, writes the truth.”

Now you provide this nightmare to your boss by the required date, having blown off Christmas and New Years to get it done. Now you wait…and wait…and wait.

Sometime in March you go into your ask your boss when the actual review meetings will be conducted. He responds that HR requires they be completed by 3/31. You say okay and go back to work.

At noon on 3/31 you receive a meeting request for 4:00 PM. You are handed a copy of your review with the bosses comments and asked if you have any questions. You are allowed five minutes to read through the Evaluation. You are then required to sign the Eval whether or not you agree with the boss. He then says that he’s not sure what your raise will be, if you qualify for one. He submitted it and it will show on your next pay stub. When you look at your next paycheck you realize that the half percent increase the company so graciously gave you bumped you into the next tax bracket and your check is 10% less than it was before your review. WhooHoo.

Maybe next year I can review my Boss and send the review his boss before their review is complete. *Sure, Cut back on the Wild Turkey, Dennis*

Headache medicine

Headache medicine

Aren’t performance evals fun?

 
21 Comments

Posted by on December 21, 2013 in Musings and Odd Thoughts

 

Tags: , , , ,

Small Winter Joys

16 Dec
Mini Snowman

Mini Snowman

Little gestures make the biggest impact. Helping a stranger navigate an ice-covered sidewalk. Holding an elevator for someone on crutches. Letting the person with one item step into line ahead of you when you have a cart full of groceries. These are small things that take virtually no effort but mean a great deal to those helped. When a small gesture affects many people, it becomes extra special.

I was driving through downtown Minneapolis a week ago. While waiting at a stop light, I looked to my right and saw an unusual sight. The building on the corner was built of stone and the builder had incorporated a small ledge into the wall at about waist-high. Sitting on the ledge was a miniature snowman. I couldn’t help but smile. It made my day.

I have no idea who made it. It might have been someone waiting for a bus or, perhaps, a homeless person on their way to the shelter for a hot meal and a warm place to sleep. Whoever it was, they did a very special thing. This intersection receives a lot of traffic everyday, both vehicles and pedestrians. I’m talking about several thousand people every day. I cannot believe that anyone passing the Mini Snowman would not smile and feel the joy of the winter season. Thar’s a lot of happiness spread by a small gesture that took little effort and little time. Whoever you are, thank you!

 

 
10 Comments

Posted by on December 16, 2013 in Musings and Odd Thoughts

 

Tags: , , , ,

Dad’s Driveway

09 Dec
The first 200 yards

The first 200 yards

The turn around is now paved. The new owners of the old house use it as a parking lot. A gravel track leads off to the left across the thin grass. The track disappears at the edge of the grass like an infinity pool. At the edge of the grass, an old apple tree guards the entrance to the driveway proper. Apples from this tree used to make some of the best apple cider I’ve ever had.

Next to the tree, the gravel track, that was once a logging road, slides down a short slope and crosses an old stagecoach road that ran through the cooley country of SW Wisconsin.  Several yards along the track,where the sunlight breaks through the canopy, is a crossing. Deer moving from their bedding areas to the apple orchard and oak thickets to feed, have cut a deep path into the sand and grass on either side of the track. There is scat from bear and wolf within sight of the track. They travel unseen less than 300 yards from the house. Knowing they have walked this path adds mystery to the journey.

Nearly to the White Pine tree.

Nearly to the White Pine tree.

The track slopes gently upward and weaves slightly through the trees. Open fields of long ago now find poplar saplings struggling for light against the scrub oak and the ever-present white pines. Few raspberry bushes remain of the once large thickets that lined the old logging road. Memories of picking berries in the scorching sun wearing long sleeves and hats to protect skin from the sharp thorns. The taste of fresh berries and hot pie and ice cream.

The branches of the ancient white pines reach out across the track blocking out the warm sun. They provide a roof to the track creating a tunnel which leads toward the fork. A cock ruffled grouse stands guard in the middle of the track. Daring anyone to enter his territory. He puffs up his feathers and stomps around trying to intimidate all intruders. His kind are few these days but, with luck, the cycle will continue and the sounds of his drumming will echo throughout the woods again.

Where the track forks, a huge ancient white pine stands as sentinel. With a trunk measured in feet instead of inches, it has been watching over this land since before white men strode beneath its branches. Place your hands against the pine and feel time. History itself.

Here the track divides. Either way will take you there. The tracks form an island that is only an illusion of separation. The house rests at the far end of the island. The wind whispers through the pine’s upper branches, “You are home .”

 
4 Comments

Posted by on December 9, 2013 in Musings and Odd Thoughts

 

Tags: , , , , ,

My Great Nephew’s Perfect Meal

05 Dec

I finally got around to looking at my Thanksgiving day pictures and one really stuck out. there is a story behind it so I will make you wait for the picture.

My great-nephew started college this year and is doing well. He is full of fun and life. When he was young, he looked like a refugee from Ethiopia. Nothing but skin and bones. Somewhere along the way he grew up. Maybe it’s because he started to eat. He now could be an offensive lineman for his college football team.

As Thanksgiving is celebrated with a large meal which takes some planning to create. He and I started talking about how we would eat the delicious meal that his grandmother prepared. His perfect meal is what follows.

Start with two rolls split in half and place face up on a plate.

Cover the rolls with slabs of turkey breast.

Add enough mashed potatoes to cover the turkey.

Smother the mashed potatoes with stuffing.

And, drown the entire plate with gravy.

The perfect Thanksgiving Day Meal

The Perfect Thanksgiving Day Meal on a 12 inch dinner plate!

Now that’s several thousand calories you’re looking at. And, not a vegetable in sight. However, he was not finished.

What would Thanksgiving dinner be without dessert?

So, he added a slice of homemade apple pie, ice cream, and a healthy serving of Butterfinger Bar Bread Pudding.

Whew! My arteries are hardening just writing this!

Finally, he sat back on the sofa with a contented look on his face having created and eaten the perfect meal.

But, the story does not end there. Unbeknownst to him, a colony of microscopic organisms were at work in his body getting ready to pounce on this unsuspecting young man. Twelve hours after the meal, the flu hit him like a freight train. He spent the entire night and the next day in utter misery. Unfortunately, his perfect meal made a return visit if you get my meaning…

He recovered in a few days as most young men do. He even joked about it on Twitter. But…I could hear the pain in his tweet at having wasted the perfect meal.

There’s always next year.

NOTE: If he gives me any static about this post, I will follow-up with a picture of him eating his perfect meal. 🙂

 
6 Comments

Posted by on December 5, 2013 in Musings and Odd Thoughts, Other Strangeness

 

Tags: , , , , ,

Tribute to a dear friend

03 Dec
Good-bye, Dave.

Good-bye, Dave.

On Saturday, a star fell from the sky. My friend David Holland passed away after a twenty-year long fight with cancer. The depth of this man and the impact he made on those around him cannot be measured with words.

We met while volunteering for the Boy Scouts of America. Correction, I was volunteering. Dave lived it and breathed it. For years, he was the Scoutmaster to a troop of 100 boys! Only Dave could pull that off. After he ‘retired’ from being a Scoutmaster, he continued to support the Scouting movement by working at the district level. He always put the boys first, no matter what.

At the time we met, I was thirty, married with no kids. As an Eagle Scout, I wanted to give back to the program that had done so much for me in my youth. Dave got a call from the district office that I was looking to get involved. Dave met with me and we hit it off. I found out later that he not only did a background check on me, but he stood up for me when several of the parents questioned him about my interest in the troop, since I had no son of my own.

Outside of my own family, I can think of no one that respect more than Dave. We spent several lifetimes sharing stories and adventures around campfires. He was a story teller and one of the first persons to encourage me to write. He was truly a good man and a good friend.

I will miss him.

May the great Scoutmaster of all great Scouts, be with us until we meet again. – Boy Scout Prayer

Mitakuye Oyasin!

 
15 Comments

Posted by on December 3, 2013 in Other Strangeness

 

The U.S. Space Program

02 Dec
Is this the future of the Space Program? Artist's concept drawing. courtesy of NASA

Is this the future of the Space Program?
Artist’s concept drawing. Courtesy of NASA

Fifty-plus years ago, a young man stood up in front of the American people and declared that we would put men on the moon. We did! Four years after the moon landing, the Space Shuttle program was approved.

The two men responsible for these huge steps could not have been more different if I’d created them for a piece of fiction. Former Presidents John F. Kennedy and Richard Nixon. Even though President Eisenhower originally approved funding for the Apollo program, history sees Kennedy as the driver behind putting men on the moon. Kennedy and Nixon did have at least one similarity. They both believed in the Space Program. It is sad that the leaders since then have not had the same vision or courage shown by leaders of the fifties, sixties, and seventies. Funding has been cut to the point where, even if funding came through today, it would take nearly a decade for the U.S. to put a manned vehicle back into space. We have chosen to rely on Russia to ensure the safe travel of our brave astronauts to and from the International Space Station. The cost of which jumped 300% the day we announced the retirement of the space shuttles. In addition, 7,000 jobs were lost to the small towns that surround Cape Canaveral when the Shuttle program was cancelled. Thirst for human exploration and knowledge has driven us to this point. What will it take to move us to the next step? Substantial fiscal payback will most likely be needed to push Congress and the President off of top-dead-center and move them to act in support of NASA. Okay, enough politics, I’m trying to keep from entering into a rant.

When I was ten years old a man stepped onto the surface of the moon. To say I was excited would be an understatement. At eighteen, I visited the Kennedy Space Center for the first time and got to look inside rockets for the first time. I was impressed but, I still didn’t understand. Thirty-four years later, I went back. I watched first hand, as a rocket launched into space. I felt the rush of excitement and patriotism. I walked in the steps of the bravest men, in my opinion, who have ever walked the earth. My imagination was electrified by the sights and sounds of exploration. With the help of the Hubble Telescope, I saw images of the possibilities and the probabilities of other “earths’ being out there. Mathematically, it is almost certain!

If only we had a way to get there!

The past few months have renewed my belief in the U.S. Space Program. The men and women who work on these projects are the finest in the world. They are driven by an insatiable need to learn, to explore, to try, and to succeed. The benefits the program has provided humanity are irrefutable. The need for the people of  Earth to find and learn about other planets could very well save us from ourselves.Will we find a way to safely travel into deep space? I have no doubt that it can and will be done.

I hope I get to see it happen in my lifetime.

What about you? If you had the opportunity to go into space, would you?

 
3 Comments

Posted by on December 2, 2013 in MAVEN, Other Strangeness

 

Tags: , , , , ,

← Older posts
Newer posts →