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Author Archives: Dennis Langley

Dual Writing Exercise

My regular writer’s group decided on an interesting writing exercise. Each of us is to prepare a ~250 word opening scene to a story. the next time we meet the scenes will be shuffled and handed out so that no writer gets their own story. The task will be to continue the story. Whether you finish the story or not is your choice. We will then critique each “Complete” story. What follows is my entry to the opening scenes. I hope to share both the final version of this story and the story that I complete. We’ll see if the other writers are willing to share.

The stench of stale beer and bad cigar smoke burned my nose and stung my eyes as I entered waterfront dive called the Broken Tankard. Tears filled my eyes from the smokey irritation. I blinked several times before the room came into focus.

A swirl of faces turned in my direction and quickly returned to the interests at hand. I walked toward the dark stained bar that ran along the back wall. My boots stuck to the floor as I picked my way through the jungle of tables and occupied chairs. Stains from semi-dried beer, blood, and other noxious fluids covered the floor. I tried to step around the worst of it. But, there were few dry spots to find. Two women stood on the stairs that led to the second floor. Wearing little more than undergarments, they tried to catch the eye of the patrons.

I continued to the bar but refrained from touching it as it was no cleaner than the floor.

“What do you want?” asked a small wiry man from behind the bar. His beady eyes never left mine as he carefully replaced a bottle beneath the bar.

Through the stench of the smoke and beer, I smelled the distinct chocolate aroma of magic coming from the man behind the bar.

“I’m looking for this woman,” I said as I handed him a faded photograph. “I was told she used to work here.”

The man looked at the picture of young woman wearing a wedding dress. She had a crescent-shaped birthmark on her neck. He glanced to the women on the stairs and then handed the picture back to me.

“Maybe I have seen her. Why are you looking for her?”

I stuffed the picture into my shirt pocket and said, “She’s my mother.”

 
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Posted by on April 21, 2012 in Other Strangeness

 

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Pipesmoke

This page has been sitting in my Musings and Odd Thoughts tab for a while. With all that has been going on around me of late, I thought a truly personal post was in order. So, for those who have not read it previously…

 A curl of blue-grey smoke climbs lazily toward the star-filled sky. My lips make contact with the well-worn pipe stem. As I begin to draw on the stem, the glow reflecting from the bowl onto my thumb, lets me know that the fire within is healthy. The warm bowl guards my hand against the crisp evening air. The heat from the ash feels good. The hot flavor washes across my tongue. It tastes sweet, tart and bitter all at once. The pungent aroma snakes up my nostrils. The smell is friendly and warm. It reminds me of other nights in other places. As I pull my mouth from the stem a few tendrils of smoke escape into the moonlight. After a pause to relish in the experience, a ring of smoke rises gently from my mouth. It floats skyward. A moment later a blue-grey arrow shoots up through the ring. The arrow mushrooms beyond. The ring widens and begins to dissipate into the night.

The sweet assault on my senses soothes the frustrations of the day. Worries and irritations float away on a thin rising column. They are replaced by peaceful relaxation and a warm feeling of contentment. Each inhale seems to draw me further into a state of mellow solitude. With each exhale comes more relaxation as my tensions are expelled on a smokey jet.

It is a time of contemplation. It is a time for prayer. It is a time of thanksgiving. It is a time to enjoy and reflect on the good things in life. It is a time to appreciate those things that we have and give thanks. Far too often we ask for things and far too seldom do we take time to thank the Creator for all that is done for us. This is also a time to listen. Listen to the crickets chirping in the bushes. Listen to the wind moving gently through the leaves overhead. Listen to the yapping of coyotes in the distance and the whippoorwills one tree away.

I pull again on the stem. A billow of sweet smoke rolls skyward. It swirls across the first quarter moon and then disappears. I truly am grateful for the many blessings that have been bestowed upon me. I have good health, a wonderful wife, a nice house, a good paying job, and my beliefs in a greater power. Every new day is special because it is different and has its own surprises to offer.

Far too soon the bowl is empty. It begins to cool in my palm. I carefully scrape the inside of the bowl to loosen the remaining contents. I rap it gently on the heel of my other hand. The leftover ashes and unburnt mixture fall to the Earth. They came from the Earth; it’s only natural that they return there. The pinholes of light in the night sky beckon me to take one more long last look before going back inside. A smile crosses my face as I say goodnight to the spirits.

 
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Posted by on April 12, 2012 in Other Strangeness

 

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Up on the Soapbox

I promised myself that I would not use this blog to get on my soapbox unless it was life or death. Well that lasted four months.

The term “I have a bone to pick with you” does not cover the full depth of feeling I have on this topic. So, I have a carcass to pick with all of the women of the world!

Uh-oh, there I have gone and done it. 

Last friday, I came to the realization that all women are sneaky, deceitful, selfish, liars by omission. You have kept a secret from men for an eternity. Something so valuable that you whisper “Me precious!” to yourselves whenever it is mentioned in public. On the rare occasion that it is mentioned in the presence of men, you down play it or make it sound trivial that it should not warrant the attention of the men in your lives.

“Liars, cheats, thieves!” I scream. You have cheated me out of half of a century of experiencing this wonderous thing. For this you cannot be forgiven!

“What is it, you ask, that would make this usually jovial, forgiving man display such angst against all womankind?”

The answer is…a pedicure, complete with foot scrub and massage!

Stop laughing and let tell you a little story.

I have been complaining to the CEO of my domicile for several weeks that one of my toenails keeps splitting. I have tried everything I can think of but to no avail. Finally, the CEO said, “I know what will work. Friday we will go see a friend of mine and she will fix you right up.”

Excellent. 

So, Friday, after work, we drove to this little strip mall and go into a nail salon.

Excuse me? What’s going on here?

The CEO gently took my hand and said everything would be alright. No one was going to hurt me. For the next 55 minutes, my feet were pampered like they were gods. I will not describe it in detail as it must be experienced to be believed. The lovely ladies did giggle to each other about my ugly feet in their native language. But it did not spoil the moment. I can not tell you the last time my feet felt as happy as they did Friday evening.

Now before the men out there demand I turn over my “Guy card”, let me say that I refused to let these lovely people paint my toe nails red…or any other color. And they did try. We men like simple pleasures. That is the truth of it.  All I am saying is that this is one the women of the world have kept from us, until now. Do not knock it until you have experienced it. So, put on your big boy britches, suck up your manhood and take a plunge. I promise you will enjoy yourself.

Lastly. Ladies, though you may be talented with words, I can promise you this; There is no poetry or prose sufficiently powerful to make me believe that a bikini wax is anything other than medieval torture. So, I will pass on that experience.

Have a nice day.

 
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Posted by on April 3, 2012 in Other Strangeness

 

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Cross-Genre Critiques

“I hate this genre!”

Not the first thing you want to hear when receiving a critique.

“But, I loved the story.”

Okay, now I feel a little better. 

I have a great deal of respect for the individual giving the critique so I am willing to hear what she has to say. We all have our likes and dislikes. Variety is the spice of life.

What followed was a very interesting dialogue about genre clichés, knowing who your audience is, and the difficulty of providing a critique outside of your genre. I realized that just because I’m writing for a fantasy-reading audience does not mean everyone that reads my story knows what a couatl is. Or, that a tooled leather jerkin is a piece of clothing. Now I’m not going change these things because the audience I’m targeting will know. However, having a reader from another genre critique your work is very interesting and, in my humble opinion, very beneficial. 

Even though phrases like; “A shock of red hair” or reference to “A dangerous sea crossing with marauding dragonturtles” seem like minor clichés and no one in my fantasy writers’ group commented on them, they drew this reader out of the story. That is not good. I have reviewed the “fantasy clichés” she pointed out and will rewrite the few sentences involved. They seem like minor changes but as I am reminded, the devil is in the details. I think I will add a few more non-fantasy readers to my list of betas.

The other realization I came to, is that it can be difficult giving a good critique on a piece that is written in a genre I am not familiar with. I find the need to concentrate more on specific elements and reread some sections to ensure I’m not missing something. It is becoming easier but it has been a challenge. Overall, I think it has helped my self-editing.

The bottom line here is this, even though you need to be acutely aware of who your target audience is, don’t hesitate to cross genres and sit on either side of the critique table. Whether you choose to take the critique to heart or not is still your choice.

Any thoughts?

 
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Posted by on March 29, 2012 in Other Strangeness

 

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And this too shall pass…

Some of you may have noticed that my novel progress bar has remained stationary for  some time. Progress has been made. However, the word count has remained relatively static. Progress was made with characterization. I now know who my main character is and what makes him tick, at levels he doesn’t even know exist. Also, #1 antagonist is ready to enter the fray at a similar level of understanding. This information has given me the tools to move forward with the story. Time well spent, I say.

Reason number two for static word count comes in the form of a first chapter rewrite. A few weeks ago, I submitted my draft first chapter to my writing group, TC Fantasy Guild. As usual the comments were helpful and I made a strategic decision to rewrite chapter one so I have a strong beginning to work from. I made the recommended changes and though it still needs some work, I feel comfortable where it is at.

 Now, “If the good Lord is willing and the creek don’t rise”, I will finish up chapter three by the end of the month. After that, I will need to get busy. I would like to attend a writer’s retreat on Lake Superior in September. But I will need considerably more content than I have now before I register. I’ll keep you posted.

It’s time to write. I will give you the back cover summary in a future post.

 
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Posted by on March 20, 2012 in Other Strangeness

 

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Recent Woes

To begin, I’m going to take a page from a Blog I follow: Writing By the Numbers.

Number of family members or close friends recently diagnosed for or treated for cancer:     6

Number of hours sleep lost due to the above:   More than I can count.

Number of hours spent writing on my novel in the last two months (excluding this blog and a business trip):    6

As my brother told me before going into surgery, “God has decided now is a good time to test us.” He then added, “After I wake up, whatever you do, do not make me laugh.”

Yeah right! He knew better than to expect that.

You see, I try real hard everyday to laugh. It might be a joke a friend e-mails to me, or a favorite sitcom, or my wife being her crazy self. But, sometime during the day I will find a way to laugh. I believe the main reason my wife and I are well into three decades of marital bliss, is because we laugh together everyday.

Please do not take it that I find anything amusing about the statistics listed above, quite the contrary. These are people I would take a bullet for and it tears me up everyday that they are in pain. However, I have seen first hand that, “laughter is the best medicine.” Laughter tends to dry the tears and heal the broken heart. Medical research has shown that laughter is one of the best stress reducers.

Many times, as a youngster, my mother would get mad at me. When she finished yelling at me, I would begin to laugh. She would become more angry and I would continue to laugh until finally she would shake her head and start laughing with me. I did not laugh at her anger. that would have been foolish and probably ended with me sitting on a sore butt for a few hours. No, my laughter was a defense mechanism. It was how I tried to diffuse the situation. When I lost my mother a few years back, I cried until I started to laugh. It was her way of getting back at me.

My writing has suffered and I’m okay with that for now. I know “this too shall pass” and soon I’ll get back to the keyboard. So, hug your family and do something fun. Tonight, I’m going to open a bottle a snazzy beer. put the cat fight from Puss ‘n Boots in the DVD player, and ROFLMAO!!!

Tomorrow’s a new day.

 
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Posted by on March 17, 2012 in Other Strangeness

 

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Character Traits

Last week I provided some commentary on the use of character descriptive tags. I promised that I would follow that up with one regarding character traits. So, let’s clear up the question that I know has kept you awake every night since my last post, “What is the difference between a tag and a trait?”

The correct answer is: It depends on who you ask. But, since this is my post you will get my opinion. Tags are primarily, descriptors of a character’s appearance. These are words you might use to describe a picture of your character to someone else. Hair color or style, eye color of shape, general body type, height, weight, clothing worn, tattoos, scars, jewelry, tools carried, weapons, are all examples of tags.

Traits on the other hand, are those descriptors that make your two-dimensional character jump off the page. In most cases they are action or sensory oriented. Traits help the reader create a motion picture that affects all five of their senses.

Physical:

How does the character move? Does she limp? Does she have grace? Is she a good dancer? Does she routinely trip over her own feet? 

What is the character’s mannerisms, gestures, and expressions? Two of my favorite bloggers have already addressed this, so here are the links to their posts. Carlie Macullen  wrote a wonderful post relating to this group of descriptors. Also, Nicolette Jinks wrote an interesting post on body language. They are certainly must read material.

How does the character sound, smell, feel, and taste? What does his voice sound like? Does she wear perfume or does she reek of garlic? Is his handshake cold and clammy? Does her throat taste like the apricot scrub she used this morning? The more senses you can include, the more real the character will become.

Psychological:

This where you should go back to the volumes of character information you generated at the airport, (See previous post) and dig through your character personality, family history, back story, life crises, etc. What you want to do is find quirks, oddities, phobias, likes, and dislikes that will give your character that extra spark of interest and make them REAL! If you did your home work you should have a boatload to choose from. Decide on a couple to use that help clearly define your character. Clearly, this is where you insert flaws into your character.

Some notable examples include: Indiana Jones was afraid of snakes. Dr. Robert Langdon had claustrophobia from being stuck in a well as a child. Felix Unger was a neat freak. Ocean Eleven’s, Rusty Ryan was constantly eating something.

Don’t be afraid you will hurt your character by making them unusual. Trust me here, we are all unusual. Even identical twins are not truly identical. Otherwise, my trip to the airport would yield a blank notebook.

Like tags, traits can be overused. If a character has too many flaws, the become unbelievable and the reader will get bored. On the flip side, if you don’t use them, your characters will come off flat and uninteresting. This results in the reader getting bored. We all know what happens when a reader gets bored, the book closes. Just like chocolate and alcohol, use tags and traits in moderation.

One more thing, while I’m on the subject, Do not forget your supporting cast. Unless your main characters are interacting with crash-test dummys, add a few tags to your minor characters. It would not be the first time that the ogre”s spanish accented, sword-wielding side-kick cat, became the star of his own story. (I love that movie.)

So, go forth and flaw your characters. Make them real. And please, let me know how it works for you.

 
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Posted by on March 13, 2012 in Other Strangeness

 

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