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Tag Archives: Opening scene

What if? Then what?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

At my work, there are two questions that I ask every day. What if? and Then what? I drive my co-workers crazy, but if they can get past their burning desire to see me attempt to swim across Lake Monona carrying 500 pounds of chain, we end up creating a disaster response plan that makes sense and will keep the company in business until a full recovery is possible.

It really doesn’t matter what crisis scenario they throw at me, my response is the same, “Then what?” “Okay, but what if this happens? Then what?” Action and response, action and response, rinse and repeat. Does this sound familiar to you writers? It should. This simple formula can be a life saver when plotting out your story and it is a near sure-fire cure for writer’s block.

New story/Opening scene:   Imagine you have this really great character that you have spent hours working up back story, traits, flaws, abilities, likes and dislikes. Then what? A good story needs conflict, right? So, throw your character in to the frying pan. You can use their biggest fear, greatest dislike, natural disaster, man-made disaster, etc. Drop them into the setting and throw the book at them. Then what?

Plot:   How do they respond to the crisis that you threw them into? Do they take direct action, try to talk their way out, ask a stranger for help, use a super power, etc. What is the result of their action? Whatever they did, it fails or, even better, the situation gets worse. Now what? They try something else that only makes their situation more dire. Then what? Rinse and repeat until the characters can’t possible survive, then write the story’s climax.

Story board: For those of you who don’t write by the seat of your pants, this technique works very well when story boarding. We’ve already seen it used for plotting, but it also works well when looking at character arcs. Once you have determined where your character will start and you have an idea as to where you see them ending up, go back to the beginning and start asking, how does a scene affect the character? How do they change? Maybe they don’t at first, so ask, then what? After the next scene what has changed? Will the change affect the next scene? How? Then what? Always aim for your final outcome but take small steps, building a little at a time. Eventually, those little changes will add up until the character reaches the point where they either need to make a major change to survive, or revert back to their beginning stage never to recover.

The bottom line is this, these two little questions should be in every writers toolkit. They are versatile and very useful. So, have you consciously used this technique?

 
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Posted by on January 16, 2019 in Thoughts on Writing

 

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777 Writer’s Challenge

It is hard to ignore a challenge. Especially one laid down by the lovely and talented owner of Sara Kjeldsen Writes. The challenge is pretty simple. Just open your current work in progress, go to the seventh line of the seventh page, and post the next seven sentences. Easy, peasy. Then tag seven other writers and challenge them to do the same. Not so easy.

After I read these seven sentences, i laughed. I was surprised that it took seven pages to get my protagonist into this much hot water. Anyway, He has a habit of biting off more than he can chew. So, here goes.

I stopped in mid-stride and slowly turned to face the most powerful wizard west of the Mississippi. She still stood behind the bar. Her eyes were wide with surprise but, she quickly recovered her composure.  Red sparks flashed from her casting rod. She flicked her hand and I heard the front door locks slam into place. Some of the patrons began to object, preferring to leave before two wizards began dueling. But, it was way too late for that.

Now a few author’s who should have something to offer up:

Kate Johnson

Scott Weber

Matthew Wright – He says he has some new fiction in the works, which I’m dying to read.

Corey MP

AnnMarie Wyncoll

 

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First lines

Some of my favorite first lines follow:

“Once upon a time…” – Everyone has used this one.

“There are many perks to living twenty-one centuries, and foremost among them is bearing witness to the rare birth of genius.” – Hounded by Kevin Hearne

“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair.” – Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens

“They shoot the white girl first.” – Paradise by Toni Morrison

“The building was on fire, and it wasn’t my fault.”— Blood Rites: A Novel of the Dresden Files by Jim Butcher

“A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away…” – The open scrawl to the Star Wars movies by George Lucas

“In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit.” – The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkien

Do these first lines draw you in? Do they paint a picture? Each is famous. Each is epic. Does the first line of your story capture the reader? If not, close this post and get back to work.

NO, NO. I’m just kidding. Read the rest of this post, make a comment, and then get back to writing.

The opening line I want to talk about is “Once upon a time…”. We have all heard this since we were too young to understand what it meant. If there every was a line that puts the reader into “Fantasy” mode, “Once upon a time…” is it. Those four words remove the reader to another time. The reader is prepared for something outside the norm. To some extent the word “Once…” is enough to accomplish the same effect.

The problem with those four words, is that they are cliché. They have been used so much, that to some extent, they have lost their effectiveness. Alone, they no longer carry the weight they once did. However, when followed by the right series of words, they still perform magic. For example:

“Once upon a time, there was a woman who discovered she had turned into the wrong person.” – Back When We Were Grown-Ups by Anne Tyler

My response to this first line is “Really? How?”. This is exactly what the author wanted me to say. With fifteen words, I am drawn into the story and my interest is building. Think about the affect the first dozen words of your story have on the reader. Now, think of the reader as a potential agent, editor, or publisher. Does your first line FORCE them to continue reading? If not, stop writing the rest of your story until you have that first line perfect. Great plot, characters, pacing, etc. will be for naught if the reader puts your story down after the first line. It is that important.

Now get back to writing.

 
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Posted by on April 26, 2013 in Thoughts on Writing

 

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When is a Prologue not a Prologue?

Much of my writing time of late has been spent, as it should be, on my current WIP novel, “Smoke and Goblet”. I wrote what I thought would be the opening scene quite a while ago. My writing group critiqued it and I made revisions. Thinking I had a solid opening scene, I moved on to writing other scenes that would round out the first third of the book. Several of these scenes introduced other major characters and gave additional exposition regarding the main conflict. While writing a scene introducing my primary antagonist, I hit a wall. The scene just did not feel right. It read like a flashback based on the preceding scenes.

I went to my storyboard and moved some scenes around. The logical place for this scene was the opening scene. I based this on the flow of ownership of the object that causes the main conflict in the plot and not on which character is introduced first. It just made more sense to me that the reader would want to know how the object got to where the protagonist obtains it. Also, it is a great set up to show just how nasty the antagonist is.

My dilemma came from several writing sources which stated, “Anything before the protagonist is introduced, is a prologue.” These sources further state that, “Prologues, with few exceptions, should be avoided.” Prologues require the author to write two opening scenes which cause the reader to start the story over. A prologue often contains characters other than the main characters of the story, is set in an early time, and/or is located in a different setting. It is a set up that may provide exposition the author can think of no other way to introduce to the reader. I have read novels with and without prologues and I understand what the writing sources were trying to say. I think most stories can do without a prologue quite nicely. That brings me back to the question of this post.

My opening scene introduces my antagonist, his evil personality, and the object which will be the main cause of conflict for the remainder of the story. The second short scene shows how the object changes hands before the protagonist is introduced and obtains the object in the third scene. I do not believe that the first two scenes fit the definition of a prologue as the timeline, antagonist, and conflict are consistent with the rest of the story plot. I’m not adverse to using a prologue. I’m just not sure that is what I’m dealing with.

So…when is a prologue not a prologue? Have you used a prologue in your writing? Did an editor ask you to either add or delete a prologue? What was their reasoning?

 

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Writing is like a Train

For me writing is like a train.Train

The Warm Up:

Train: The engineer gets into the locomotive, turns on the power, and fires up the engine.

Writer: I create characters that I think will be interesting. Next comes a situation the characters find themselves in that will create tension and lead to further adventures. The setting is somewhere within the fantasy world I created years ago. Finally, I gather my plot notes (islands), character sketches (Traits and Tags), and a big bottle of water and head to the Storyboard. Once the islands have been laid out, I go to the computer.

Leaving the station:

Train: The locomotive winds up and builds to a roar. The train begins to inch forward. It crawls along for a few yards as the full weight of the train is taken on. Now there is some momentum and the train begins to pick up speed.

Writer: The blank screen is deafening. My mind is full of the possibilities that await the characters but, nothing is happening. There is a moment of panic and self-doubt. My hands reach for the keyboard as I try to formulate the first sentence. It has to be the best sentence of the story. The hook has to be perfect. I stop and take a drink from the water bottle. Then I remember that the first draft is always crap. My hands return to the keyboard and I peck out the first sentence. No, it’s not perfect but, it is a start. Take another drink. Back to the keyboard. Soon the first paragraph is complete and the head is getting into the game. Each paragraph that follows is easier than the last.

Coming up to speed:

Train: The train accelerates to its cruising speed. The power and momentum seem unstoppable. The cars jostle around over the uneven tracks. However, the train keeps going forward.

Writer: Once I get into a writing rhythm, woe unto any who disturb me. My mind is in high gear and the fingers begin to have a hard time keeping up. I have become the characters at his point and the story flows out like a lake draining though a broken dam. I just stay out-of-the-way and let it happen.

Coming into the next stop:

Train: The Engineer reduces the power and the train begins to coast. The friction of the wheels against the steel rails begin to slow the train down. As the train enters the station, the brakes are applied. The momentum of the train strains against the brakes because it wants to keep going. At last the train jerks to a halt and the sound of the locomotive drops to a hum. It’s not off, just waiting for the command to crank it up again.

Writer: The mind is racing forward ahead of the fingers and it sees the end of the scene/chapter/story before the fingers do. Once the mind reaches the end, it begin to coast. The fingers continue to bang away but by now fatigue is beginning to set in. The keystrokes are becoming softer and begin to slow down. The final paragraph flows forth but much weaker than before. Finally, the fingers type out the last few words and then become motionless on the keys. The Save button is pressed. The mind, however, is already working on the next scene/chapter/story. Wanting to move forward.

 
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Posted by on December 5, 2012 in Thoughts on Writing

 

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My Scene

Several weeks ago I wrote a few posts about a dual-writing exercise that my writer’s group completed. (Dual Writing Exercise) We each started a scene and then another member of the group completed it. (Dual Writing Exercise – Part Deux) It was a fun exercise. However, being a bit of a control freak where my writing is concerned, I thought I would finish my own scene the way it was morphing in my own head. I admit I cheated in that I took longer than 30 minutes to write my ending. But, it was finished in one sitting with very little editing. Rough though it may be, a like the way it played out and can see some interesting future possibilities. So, here is my version of the scene.

The stench of stale beer and bad cigar smoke burned my nose and stung my eyes as I entered waterfront dive called the Broken Tankard. Tears filled my eyes from the smokey irritation. I blinked several times before the room came into focus.

A swirl of faces turned in my direction and quickly returned to the interests at hand. I walked toward the dark stained bar that ran along the back wall. My boots stuck to the floor as I picked my way through the jungle of tables and occupied chairs. Stains from semi-dried beer, blood, and other noxious fluids covered the floor. I tried to step around the worst of it. But, there were few dry spots to find. Two women stood on the stairs that led to the second floor. Wearing little more than undergarments, they tried to catch the eye of the patrons.

I continued to the bar but refrained from touching it as it was no cleaner than the floor.

“What do you want?” asked a small wiry man from behind the bar. His beady eyes never left mine as he carefully replaced a bottle beneath the bar.

Through the stench of the smoke and beer, I smelled the distinct chocolate aroma of magic coming from the man behind the bar.

“I’m looking for this woman,” I said as I handed him a faded photograph. “I was told she used to work here.”

The man looked at the picture of young woman wearing a wedding dress. She had a crescent-shaped birthmark on her neck. He glanced to the women on the stairs and then handed the picture back to me.

“Maybe I have seen her. Why are you looking for her?”

I stuffed the picture into my shirt pocket and said, “She’s my mother.”

A shriek from behind me drew my attention. I looked over my shoulder and saw a tiny bedraggled sprite take to the air from one of the tables. Across the table sat an equally bedraggled ogre who, until a moment ago, had been playing checkers with the now airborne sprite. The sprite drew what appeared to be a large darning needle from its belt and flew up to attack the huge ogre. Even seated the ogre was nearly seven feet tall.

“Die cheater,” the sprite screamed as it lunged up at the ogre’s face.

            The ogre calmly swatted at the enraged sprite. The ogre’s massive hand struck the sprite and launched it towards the wall. The sprite hit the stone wall with an audible spat. Its crumpled body slid down the wall until it lay unmoving on the sticky floor. No one lifted a finger to help.

            ”Nice place you have here…,” I said as I turned back to the bartender. “…Mom.”

            Standing where the wiry bartender had been, was the woman from the picture. She looked the same even though the picture was a century old. In place of the wedding gown were jeans and a black tank top.

            “I see you still prefer to hide in plain sight,” I said. “Your illusion was nearly flawless.”

            “Simpler is usually better,” she said flatly. Her forehead showed several small furrows as she looked at me.

            “Yeah. You’ve said that a time or two.”

            My mother was a powerful wizard, capable of holding her own with anyone or anything that wandered into her territory. Why she was hiding out in this flophouse was anyone’s guess. Her right hand was still out of sight beneath the bar. That made me a little nervous. She was still alive because she trusted no one. That she held no trust for her only son was not that surprising. I slowly took my hands out so she could see they were empty.

            “Why are you here, boy,” she asked.

            “First, the name you gave me was Derek. I’ve grown accustomed to it over the past one hundred and thirty-four years.”

            Her eyes narrowed slightly and I couldn’t help the slight upturn to the corner of my mouth.

            “Secondly, I have a message from your husband.”

            “So what does your dear old stepdad have to say?”

            “He passed through the Veil two weeks past. He asked me to find you.”

“So you have, out with it. What did he want to tell me, I have work to do?”

“He still loved you. Why I can’t explain.” I shook my head slightly as I continued, “That’s what he wanted me to tell you.”

“The man was a fool,” Mom said.

“That…” I cut her off before she could say anything else. “…is the first thing you’ve said in a hundred years that I agree with. He should have run when he saw you coming. You treated him like shit even though he worshiped the ground you walked on.”

I took a step forward. She responded by leaning back away from the bar and I saw the orb in her right hand.

“Leaving us was the best thing that you ever did. Good-bye, Mother.” I turned and began walking for the door.

“You spoiled brat. Do you think you can come into my territory, insult me, and then just walk out? Turn around you little son of a bitch!”

I waved my hand as if brushing her comment away and kept walking. The next second, a blast of energy washed over me as a wave crashes over a rocky shore. Tables, chairs, and patrons went flying before her spell, crashing into the far wall of the bar. I stopped in mid-stride and turned slowly to face the most powerful wizard on this half of the continent. She stood behind the bar and her eyes were at first, wide but she quickly recovered her composure. Her arm stretched over her head. The orb streamed red and orange flashes between her fingers. She flicked her left hand and I heard the front door slam. She looked at me from head to toe.

“I see your stepfather taught you a few things.”

“One or two.”

“Are you challenging me?” she asked. The light from the orb began to throb with power.

“I have no intention of challenging you mother,” I said as I began walking slowly toward her. I had waited a long time for this moment. “I just have a bit of advice for you.”

“And that would be?”

“Stay out of trouble and do not give me cause to return here.”

I stopped a few feet sort of the bar and she began to laugh.

The laughter stopped and her face took on a dangerous look, “And what if I don’t?”

I pulled back my jacket to expose a pin on my shirt the size of a half-dollar. The shape of the pin was that of a silver circle with two interconnected crescent moons within it, the four-moon phases device worn by the wizard king’s marshals.

“I will come back and I will kill you,” I said without emotion.

She stared at the pin in disbelief. Without waiting for her to comment, I turned and walked toward the door. I called on the device as I approached the door and the wards mother had placed there melted away. Then, just for spite, I walked through the door without opening it. As my body coalesced out on the street, I couldn’t help smiling at the thought of my father and stepdad looking down and laughing.

“Thank you. That was almost worth it,” I said aloud.

I stepped into my jeep and headed north out-of-town. A warlock in Taos was stalking a famous actress and the Wizard King liked her movies.

 
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Posted by on June 27, 2012 in Actress and the Warlock

 

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Dual Writing Exercise – Part Trois

My final installment of the results of this exercise is the opening provided by Leah Stennes Renner (with permission) followed by the conclusion which I provided. Once again the rules were that we had thirty minutes to read the opening and draft a conclusion to the scene/story. With no time to edit, it’s a pretty rough.

Leah’s Opening

The baseball bat had been in the house since they moved in. When they first stepped into the house, it laid in the middle of the kitchen like someone dropped it in their haste to vacate. But a baseball bat? What a random object to leave behind. Especially one that had no markings on it, not even a maker’s name. The finish had been perfect, the wood grain completely straight. Not even the boy’s childhoods of using it for everything from actual baseball games as kids, to knocking down the condemned shed as adolescents, to smashing mailboxes as young adults, had marred its surface. It had been a lucky charm for them, the bat that couldn’t be dented. What a fitting totem for a family such as this.

But now that moving day loomed, the whole family found themselves in a silly situation of arguing about what to do with it. Somehow over the years, although it had endeared itself to everyone, even Mavis who only used it as a makeshift leg for her broken easel, no one felt that they owned it. It was as much a part of the house as the sink or the Kool-Aid stain on the white carpet. It had been a good luck charm in the house. How could they ever separate them? But did that mean they were throwing it away? Could anyone find it in their hearts to throw it away?

Dennis’s Conclusion

“We can’t leave it. It hit the grand slam that won the 2007 little league World Series for us,” said Dirk. “It’s worth a fortune.”

“I agree it can’t be left behind,” Dad’s voice boomed from the kitchen. “It protected your mother during the break-in and with me going to the home soon, she’ll need it more than ever. You all won’t be around.”

I looked at the bat leaning against the wall under the painting Mavis had painted of the crabtree out back. Its perfect pale color contracted with the bright pink blooms of the tree. Dad was right. We were all going our separate ways. Even if we took it, who of us would take care of it.

“So, you think mom should keep it?” I asked dad as he came into the livingroom with a fresh bottle of beer.

“I do,” he replied and dropped into his recliner.

“As long as it stays in the family, I don’t care who keeps it,” Dirk added.

Mother finally spoke, “I’m not so sure we shouldn’t just leave it for the new owners. I always felt uncomfortable when it was out of the house.”

“That’s crazy, mom,” Dirk said. “It’s just a bat.”

**************

The next morning we loaded up the moving truck, left San Diego, and drove to Mom’s new house. Dad has placed the bat in the back seat of the station wagon. After we had unloaded everything, dad couldn’t find the bat.

“I remember moving it to put ice in the cooler when we stopped in Fresno,” he said as he dug through the boxes in the new livingroom. “It’s got to be here somewhere.”

**********

That same day the Baker family pulled up outside their new home in San Diego. The crabtrees were blooming and two young boys burst from the minivan and ran into the house. A moment later they came outside holding a baseball bat.

“Look what we found!”

 
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Posted by on May 17, 2012 in Other Strangeness

 

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