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Last Station

For several years, I rode a commuter train into Minneapolis for work. I’ve always liked trains. It’s one of my favorite modes of travel. The poem that follows was written as a simple description of my experience. It wasn’t until my writer’s group read it unedited that they told me about the dark undertones of my word choices. Honestly, I did not see it until they pointed it out. It shows that we sometimes get so close to what we write that we lose sight of what is truly coming out through our words. This poem was recently read at the open mic night at the Lakefly Writer’s conference in Oshkosh, Wisconsin.

Last Station

Souls stand on a concrete pond

poured into perfect four-foot squares.

A dual river of steel runs through the pond.

Rumbles echo in the distance.

Out of the mist the steel serpent slithers,

follows the river, seeks the waiting souls.

Spotlight and bells signal in its coming.

Rumbles, closer now.

The serpent screeches as steel crushes steel.

It stops, wanting to feed. Many maws open wide.

The souls rush into the expectant body as it hisses and breathes.

Rumble stills, and the serpent feeds.

Finally sated, the steel serpent shudders.

Sluggishly, almost too full to move, it grinds forward.

Leaving the concrete pond, it rushes toward the horizon.

Rumbles fade in the distance.

 
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Posted by on May 19, 2026 in Poems

 

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Infant Poet

I’ve been writing now for many years. Almost everything has been prose, short story and novel-length fiction, or non-fiction mixed about 75/25. During the past six months, members of my writing group have suggested that I try my hand at poetry and flash fiction. My background in poetry is less than non-existent. Prior to this year, my most recent poetic attempt was in eighth grade, Ms. Hargrave’s class. A flaming disaster!! So, I started working on some flash pieces. Writing stories with less than 2,000 words is a challenge at best. Every word must perform multiple duties. Dialogue must be TIGHT. The character(s) must be clear and interesting from the first word. Settings must blend easily with the action.

My first attempts were somewhat successful, but it was a struggle to cut the word count and maintain a compelling story. My writing suffered from wordy and compound sentences, setting info dumps, and extraneous dialogue. A friend pushed harder for me to try poetry. After a lot of soul searching and research to brush up on exactly what poetry is, I sat down and cranked out two pieces. At first, my embarrassment kept me from sharing them with my group. I thought they were cheesy, and one of them might trigger some sensitive people. But I submitted them for critique anyway. Surprisingly to me, the feedback was mostly positive. After a bit of editing, I read both poems at an open mic night during the Lakefly Writer’s Conference. Again, the response was positive. Enough so that I will be working on additional pieces in the future.

What writing poetry taught me was that every single word in a poem must perform two or more functions. In addition, my other writing (especially first drafts) has become tighter. Word choice has become an interesting game, forcing me to improve my vocabulary. I no longer dread the idea of writing a poem. It remains an option and a useful tool for this infant poet. Over the next few weeks, I will share a few of my recent works.

 
 

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Lakefly 2025

It’s that time of year again. I will head to Oshkosh, Wisconsin, for the Lakefly Writers Conference in a week and a half. I need to decide what I will read during the open mic event on Friday. It was so much fun last year. I also submitted a flash piece to the annual writing competition. They have notified the finalists, and I was not among the lucky few. So, I’ll try again next year.

Work on my second novel hit a few bumps, and it appears I will need to rethink the chapter sequence to include threads from the first book that are necessary for plot continuity. Thankfully, the new chapters should fit nicely, interspersed with the existing ones. Writing with multiple POVs is new for me. I hope I can do right by the characters.

In addition to the rework on my second novel, I’ve written a short story focusing on a Highwayman. It was a project inspired by the song, Highwayman, by the country supergroup the Highwaymen. The response I received from my writers group to it was positive. It is now ready for submission. Just for giggles, I started a sequel to it.

So, there you have it. A quick update on my writing endeavors and a preview of the upcoming trip to LakeFly. I’ll keep you all updated on my progress, slow that it may be.

 
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Posted by on April 22, 2025 in Thoughts on Writing

 

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Short Flashes of Inspiration

Now that the trauma of a home sale, home purchase, and big move is behind me, I can find time to write again. But, writing a novel can be a slog. Ask anyone who has tried it. Sometimes the mind just shuts down. The muse flies back to her mountaintop.

In an effort to trick the muse into returning, I decided to try my hand at some short and short-short fiction. Flash, if you will. I didn’t really realize how difficult short works can be until I applied strict word counts to each attempt. 7,000 to 12,000-word short stories are not too difficult. An engaging beginning, an interesting middle that moves the story along, and a snappy ending are all possible, and for me, quite doable at this length. However, once you enter the realm of 2,000 words or less, the difficulty factor ramps up a bit.

In flash fiction, the flowery descriptions of scenes, the finite details of combat, the lengthy monologues, and internalizations once used to enhance a storyline are too large to include and leave room for the shortened plotline. Every word must count for more than one thing. Every sentence must perform multiple functions.

My first attempts received mixed reviews. A friend from my writer’s group suggested I try poetry. She is quite accomplished, and I take her advice seriously. However, poetry and I do not seem to mix well. After a few pitiful attempts, I returned to editing with a microscope and a scalpel. It was a brutal process. I truly learned what the phrase, kill your darlings means. Any word that was not multi-tasking or absolutely necessary to create comprehensive sentences was quickly deleted.

One project was a 2,000-word short story to submit to a competition at the Lakefly Writer’s Conference in Oshkosh, Wisconsin, this spring. It took much longer than planned, and I missed the submission date. The original story was around 3750 words. I made the cuts to get it to 1,998 words!!! The good news is that I was able to submit a flash piece of around 700 words. We’ll see how that fares.

The bottom line is that this process taught me that word choice and thoughtful editing significantly impact the final piece. Additionally, I can successfully write shorter works. The good news is that the muse has returned, and work on the second novel has resumed.

 
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Posted by on April 4, 2025 in Other Strangeness

 

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Lakefly 2024

Logo for Lakefly Writers Conference located in the Fox Cities, Oshkosh, Wisconsin

A few weeks back I made the two hour pilgrimage to Oshkosh, Wisconsin and attended the Lakefly Writers Conference. What Lakefly lacks in sheer size it makes up for in friendliness, variety of content, and networking capabilities. Each year the conference is bigger and better.

This year the conference included a book fair that was open to the public. Authors representing every possible genre offered their books for sale and were eager to discuss their road to publication or topics relating to the writing craft. It was impossible to walk through the rows of tables and not come home with an armload of new reading material.

In addition to the many presentations on craft, an attendee can reserve a spot for any of the one-on-one events. Pitching your new manuscript to an agent, having a professional photographer provide you with headshots, meeting with a writing coach to discuss your current project, and obtaining advice on setting up your online marketing strategy were just a few of the options available.

My entire writers group decided to attend this year so much of the “down” time was spent trading information from the sessions that someone was not able to attend. As usual, comments and viewpoints varied, but everyone agreed that the quality of information presented was top-notch.

The highlight for me this year was the Friday night open mic night held at the town library. I normally do not shy away from public speaking. My years as a corporate trainer and Red Cross volunteer provided ample experience for this event. Or so I thought. There is something very different about standing in front of complete strangers and reading a section from your own manuscript for five minutes. My hands shook and trying to keep my voice from cracking while I shared my “baby” was terrifying. I vaguely remember hearing the audience laugh when I thought they should, gasp at the appropriate times, and react with surprise at the twist. However, looking back, it was only a blur. Members from my group confirmed that other people’s reactions were spot on and that I “had” them from the opening paragraph.

I am grateful that I decided to do it. Hearing your story read out loud is something that I truly believe is a must when finalizing your manuscript edits. There are some passages that don’t feel right until they pass the “listened to” test.

For anyone that interested in attending next years event, you can follow the conference at, lakefly.org.

I hope to see some of you there next year. And, maybe I will read an excerpt from my second book, Snake Coils. It is coming along nicely.

 
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Posted by on May 26, 2024 in Thoughts on Writing

 

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Writing Companions

Herman is taking a break from his usual guard duties. The songbirds on the feeder just a few feet away, routinely attempt to escape the raiding sharp-shin hawks by crashing into the window. By leaping up to scare them away before they make contact, he believes that he is protecting me from the noise of them hitting the window. However, a fourteen pound cat hitting the window and shade makes much more racket than a four ounce finch. Herman also watches the drive way for visitors. He announces their arrival by launching himself from his shelf, landing with a resounding thud, and then proceeds to vocalize in the most morose way.

His antics can be a little distracting at times while I’m writing. However, they are sufficiently infrequent to make him a wonderful writing companion. He also like to make an appearance at our weekly writer’s group meetings. Often, he will sit on the floor next to my chair a vocalize so loudly that the meeting conversation is disrupted by his voice coming through my headset microphone. Of course, then I am required to lift him onto my lap and give him adequate face time on camera as well. This, in turn, has been known to spawn jealousy among the furry companions of the other writers within the group, each demanding their own five minutes of camera time. All of these writing companions are of the feline variety.

I noticed that in many of the movies that I’ve seen where writers are portrayed, they have cats as companions. It made me wonder just how many writers have something other than a feline as a writing companion. So that’s my question for you all today. What flavor of writing companion do you have?

 
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Posted by on December 19, 2021 in Thoughts on Writing

 

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Workshops, Groups, and Retreats, Part 2

 

 

 

 

In Part 1, I spoke about writer’s groups and explained some of the differences between writer’s groups and critique groups. I’ve already covered my search for a critique group in The Help. And, I touched on some of the benefits I’ve received by joining the “right group”, in The Help, Part 2. I will come back to critique groups later in this series or posts.

Today I want to discuss workshops. To remind you, here is the definition that I am using:

“Writing workshop – A group of writers (strangers) who have provided samples of their writing to each other to read. They then provide feedback (written and/or verbal) on the quality of each other’s writing and possibly provide recommendations on the various aspects of the craft. This is usually a one shot event.”

Advice provided by other writers indicated that this would be an excellent tool to use during the editing process. The fact that the members do not know you very well, if at all, and haven’t seen your work on a regular basis like a writers/critique group does. Fresh eyes, various backgrounds, and hopefully a common interest in the genre can provide insight into those writing tics that your friends and group mates have become accustomed to. Their reactions and feedback should be reflective of a new reader in your target audience. Or, so one would think.

The common interest in your genre is not at all required. In fact, having authors from other genres look at you story can really be an eye-opening experience. Romance, mystery, and literary authors can see your fantasy story very differently, and provide unique feedback that you may not have considered before. Each writer tends to focus on their genre’s own tropes and idiosyncrasies. Blending some of those into your story can, if they fit, provide a color or plot direction that makes it sing. Equally important is that being a participant in this type of workshop (multi-genre) forces you to read the other writer’s stories. So you get to see how the different genre’s deal with issues common to all stories like setting, characterization, plot, pacing, etc.

I will never forget the first romance novel I ever read. Yes, I read it cover to cover and provided a review for the author. It was a struggle for me to get through simply because it was so different from my usual fare. However, it was well written. I did see a few issues, in my humble opinion, in how the setting was portrayed and I hope that some of my comments helped the author with future projects.

Like all forms of critique facilities, workshops should have rules or guidelines to provide a framework for the event and attempt to ensure the workshop runs efficiently and is as productive as possible for everyone. Typical guidelines might include: Only one participant speaks at a time in a prescribed order, always start with a positive comment, what worked for you, what didn’t work for you, what would have worked better, critique the writing not the writer, read from prepared comments, the author cannot speak other than to ask direct yes or no questions to clarify a comment, the author should not attempt to defend the work, the author can ask additional questions after all critiques have been received, the author is allowed to take notes during the critique, or written copies of comments are provided at the end of the session. It is the responsibility of the moderator to keep everyone on track.

As a rule the workshops I have attended were friendly, productive and well worth my time and money. Yes, you usually have to pay a small fee to participate. However, I would advise you to be aware of two issues before signing up and paying your fee. First, read the submission requirements and guidelines carefully. Being unprepared is rude and can bring out the worst in even the friendliest of writers. This will also tell you what to expect when your work is being reviewed. Second, grow some thick skin. You’ll need it eventually anyway, so start now. Not everyone follows the rules of critique and not every moderator can retain control of a session. So, some of the comments you receive might be very harsh. Always remember that you asked for this.

One other thing. If you attend a workshop, expect to learn something! In fact, a lot of somethings. Even the harshest critique can have a silver lining. Let me give you an example from a recent workshop I attended as part of a fantasy writers conference.

I had attended this same conference many times, so I felt comfortable signing up for the pre-conference workshop. The introductory email included a link to the “MilFord Style rules” of the critique sessions as well as submission guidelines. I submitted the first 5,000 words of a story I’d been working on and had already run through my writer’s group. I wanted some fresh eyes to see it. After a short time I received four submissions from the other participants that I was required to read and comment on during the workshop. I completed my assignment, printed off copies of my comments and arrived at the workshop site.

To keep this on point, I will skip ahead to the feedback I received and the lessons I learned. First, a brief scene synopsis:  Scene One – My half-breed male protagonist enters a contemporary western brothel run by his mother, an evil woman whom he suspects is responsible for the murder of his father, to tell her that her second husband has died of cancer. Scene Two – The protagonist is introduced to his new client and the female lead of the story, an award-winning actress/ranch owner who is being stalked.

The four members of my group spent forty of the forty-five minute session in which my submission was critiqued, focused on two things: My negative portrayal of women, based on a two sentence description of two working girls wearing undersized lingerie, and that the mother was a sociopath. And, that a “middle-aged white male writer” should not discuss native american spirituality and syncretism across cultures, without substantial supporting data and permission from the Nations I was portraying, as it will be seen as an insult to the indigenous peoples.

As for my portrayal of women, the moderator did say that she gave me the benefit of the doubt in the first chapter, since she didn’t know me and that the second chapter seemed to reflect a more favorable light based on her initial impression on the actress character. However, the other three participants felt that I was being insensitive and should reconsider my setting choices. In addition, they recommended that I move this first chapter to later in the story to allow for the more positive view of the actress to lead off.

At no time during the critique, did any of the participants ask me about my own belief system, my heritage, my experiences with Native Americans, my credentials, or whether I was basing this character on a real person. According to the “rules of the workshop” I was only allowed to answer yes or no questions and could not speak up to clarify misconceptions. So, I kept my mouth shut and took good notes. The other five minutes of the session included some positive comments about my writing style and some suggestions relating to technical aspects of the story.

After they were finished, I chose to not get defensive (once again, I followed the rules), thanked them for their feedback, and we moved on to the next submission.

Those people who know me well are probably shaking their heads wondering how I controlled myself and kept from lighting up the entire group. The answer was simple. I know and believe in myself, my characters, and my story, what they said was based on a limited amount of information, and I’d been through enough critiques to know what to listen to and what to ignore.

The silver lining of this experience was two-fold. One, a group of strangers who read fantasy novels, stated that my writing style was engaging. And, two, these four individuals were probably not part of my target audience. I could have jumped up on my soapbox and shouted at the rain, trying to convince them, and maybe I will in a later post. However, it would not have changed the outcome of their critiques. The bottom line is not everyone is going to like your story and they have hot buttons that will send them off on a tangent. But isn’t that what writing fiction is about? Making the reader think, question, feel, experience is what this is all about.

I strongly recommend attending a workshop if you are able. More often than not it will be a fantastic experience. Just prepare and go into it with an open mind. And when you are providing a fellow writer with your comments, pay attention to the advise from this quote:

“When giving the critique of what did not work for you about the story. Don’t be afraid to be critical of the writing, in a fair and constructive way. Focus on the writing, not the writer. In short, be of assistance, don’t be an ass.” – Milford-Style Workshopping

Next up, Retreats!

 
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Posted by on February 28, 2019 in Thoughts on Writing

 

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