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When is a Prologue not a Prologue?

Much of my writing time of late has been spent, as it should be, on my current WIP novel, “Smoke and Goblet”. I wrote what I thought would be the opening scene quite a while ago. My writing group critiqued it and I made revisions. Thinking I had a solid opening scene, I moved on to writing other scenes that would round out the first third of the book. Several of these scenes introduced other major characters and gave additional exposition regarding the main conflict. While writing a scene introducing my primary antagonist, I hit a wall. The scene just did not feel right. It read like a flashback based on the preceding scenes.

I went to my storyboard and moved some scenes around. The logical place for this scene was the opening scene. I based this on the flow of ownership of the object that causes the main conflict in the plot and not on which character is introduced first. It just made more sense to me that the reader would want to know how the object got to where the protagonist obtains it. Also, it is a great set up to show just how nasty the antagonist is.

My dilemma came from several writing sources which stated, “Anything before the protagonist is introduced, is a prologue.” These sources further state that, “Prologues, with few exceptions, should be avoided.” Prologues require the author to write two opening scenes which cause the reader to start the story over. A prologue often contains characters other than the main characters of the story, is set in an early time, and/or is located in a different setting. It is a set up that may provide exposition the author can think of no other way to introduce to the reader. I have read novels with and without prologues and I understand what the writing sources were trying to say. I think most stories can do without a prologue quite nicely. That brings me back to the question of this post.

My opening scene introduces my antagonist, his evil personality, and the object which will be the main cause of conflict for the remainder of the story. The second short scene shows how the object changes hands before the protagonist is introduced and obtains the object in the third scene. I do not believe that the first two scenes fit the definition of a prologue as the timeline, antagonist, and conflict are consistent with the rest of the story plot. I’m not adverse to using a prologue. I’m just not sure that is what I’m dealing with.

So…when is a prologue not a prologue? Have you used a prologue in your writing? Did an editor ask you to either add or delete a prologue? What was their reasoning?

 

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Actress and the Warlock, Part 2

In a previous post, My Scene, a story line began as a writing exercise. I thought the character was interesting and mixing urban fantasy with a western novel flair made me curious to write more of the story. So, I’m writing it a in series of flashes and I plan on this being a short story when completed.

The next few scenes introduce the protagonist with his client and gives a little more information on the conflict he has to overcome.

I turned the jeep off the highway onto a county road and followed it for about a half mile. The road snaked through several rock outcroppings. The ever-present sagebrush dotted the rocks and gave off a wonderful wet aroma that permeated the air. The earlier shower had knocked down any dust so I opened the windows on the jeep to let the fragrance in. As I came around a sharp turn, I hit the brakes. At first, it looked like a tree branch had fallen in the road. Then the branch began to slither across the warm pavement. I watched as the four-foot long rattlesnake made its way to the safety of the shoulder. 

“You certainly are a big one,” I said to it as I continued past.

A few hundred feet further, the road dead-ended in a turn around. Off to the right, set into two large adobe pillars, was an iron gate across a paved driveway. This matched the description I was given of the gate to Ms. Hatcher’s ranch. A seven-strand fence ran off from each pillar and continued out of sight in either direction. I pulled up to the gate and saw a smaller pillar housed a call box and a camera. Hanging on center of the gate was a deer skull. Half of it was painted blue, the other half white. A black lightning bolt separated the two colors. There seemed to be other symbols painted on the skull, but I couldn’t make them out without closer inspection. Feathers, beads, and stones hung from leather thongs tied to the skull and antlers. The effect was both beautiful and sinister.

It took me a moment to realize that the hair on my arms and the back of my neck were standing out straight. I could feel conflicting energies at work. I recognized the skull as Puma’s work. It was part of his protection wards. There would be three other skulls with similar decoration attached to the fence surrounding the property at the cardinal compass points. I also heard a low hum coming from the fence and quickly located the insulators that indicated the fence was electrified. 

There was something else. A feeling of dread. Nature is about balance and I could feel when things were out of balance. My father and Puma had taught me to be sensitive to Nature’s balance during my training as a shaman. That sensitivity had been refined by my stepfather as he taught me to draw upon and use Nature’s energies to cast spells. Something was definitely out of balance here and not toward the positive side of the scale.

I reached out and pushed the button on the call box. A few seconds went by before a man’s voice came through the speaker.

“Yes,” the voice said.

I leaned closer to the speaker and looked directly in the camera.

“I’m here to see Amy Hatcher. I’m Derek Nantan.”

The voice hesitated for a moment then asked, “You the U.S. Marshal?”

I smiled at that. My area of responsibility for the Wizard King was primarily in the United States, but I did not answer to the U.S. Government. Trying to explain it to someone over a speaker would only confuse them and most likely, not get me through the gate.

“Yes,” I said.

“Okay. Drive up to the house and someone will meet you.”

“Thank you,” I said to the now silent box.

The gate swung open and I pulled forward. I felt the power of Puma’s wards part as I passed through them. Had I not been granted access and tried to force my way in, I would have most likely been burned to a cinder. The driveway curved around a boulder the size of a small house and then started down into a little valley. I got my first glimpse of the house. A sprawling Spanish-styled hacienda, the main house was large, but used typical construction for the area, white adobe with a red tile roof. The landscaping used local plants and was immaculately maintained. The pavement changed from asphalt to blue flagstone as I pulled the jeep into the main parking area. So far, Ms. Hatcher’s ranch looked exactly as the article I read in a celebrity gossip magazine had described it.

I parked the Jeep next to a burgundy Escalade. I stepped out and started for the front door. Before I took five steps, the Marlboro Man came out and waved at me.

“Howdy. You must be Mr. Nantan,” he drawled. “Ms. Hatcher sent me to fetch you back to the garden.”

“Yes I am,” I said. “Please call me Derek.”

“Fine, Derek,” he said. “Bill Hanna’s the name. Pleased to meetcha.”

He took my hand in a strong handshake. Heavy calloused hands confirmed he not only looked like a cowboy but he was probably the real deal. Puma said that this was a working ranch and that Ms. Hatcher had a large staff.

“I’ll show ya the way,” Bill said as he turned and headed back toward the main entrance. “I sure hope you can figure out what’s going on around here. Ms. Hatcher’s plenty scared. She sent most of the staff away on account of all the carcasses showing up. County sheriff says there’s nothing he can do. The animals are all varmints and there’s no law against killin’ em.”

Bill shook his head and opened the huge double oak doors that lead to the house. He waved me through and checked to secure the door.

“It just ain’t right. Sheriff also said until there’s an actual threat against someone’s life, he’s pretty much hog-tied. He seems to think it’s just some kids messin’ around and they’ll get tired of it and quit on their own.”

Bill led the way through a large entry way and into a courtyard.

“What do you think it is?” I asked. “You don’t seem to agree with the sheriff’s take on it.”

Bill stopped and looked me in the eye. “Mister, I’ve seen a lot in my sixty-two years.” Bill’s voice matched his hard stare. “But I’ve never seen a bunch of kids mutilate animals that way. It looks to me like whoever is doin’ it, enjoys it. Some of the notes been left are just plain evil sounding. No kid’s gonna say those things.”

Before I could ask him to explain, we came to a raised adobe garden. A woman was bent over pulling some weeds from the flowerbed.

“Ms. Hatcher, this here is Derek Nantan,” Bill announced. “He’s the marshal been sent to help out with the goin’s on.”

The woman stood up and turned toward me. She wore jeans and a loose denim shirt over a white tee shirt. The denim shirt was embroidered with flowering cacti. Long brown hair was pulled back into a ponytail showing simple stud earrings in her ears. Large brown eyes looked red and her oval face showed lines of worry around her eyes and mouth. I recognized the thirty-three year old actress, but just barely. This was not the red carpet at the Academy Awards and Amy Hatcher wasn’t wearing makeup. She looked dead tired. She wiped her hands on her jeans reached out to shake my hand.

“Mr. Nantan, thank you for coming.”

I shook her hand. Her grip was firm and she too had callouses. Apparently, she worked the ranch and didn’t just own it. That was good to know. My father used to say, “A little hard work never hurt anyone. If they love it enough to work it, then they must be attached to it.”

“Ms. Hatcher, it’s my pleasure and, please call me Derek,” I said as I let go of her hand.

“Derek, call me Amy,” she began. “We’re not in Hollywood out here.”

“That’s a fact,” I replied. “You have a gorgeous property.”

“Thank you,” she said. “I hope you can help keep it that way.” She turned to Bill and said, “Bill, would you please check with Maria and see if lunch is ready?”

“Yes, ma’am,” said the ranch foreman. Bill turned and left the courtyard through a side entrance.

“Ms. Hatcher, I will do everything I can make your problem go away.”

“Call me Amy, please”

“I’m sorry, of course. Maybe you should start by telling me what’s been going on.”

I’d heard Puma’s story, but sometimes the victim can give you insight no one else can. Just as Amy began to speak, an Indian boy, maybe thirteen years old ran into the courtyard.

“Ms. Hatcher. Come quick,” he said panting as he turned back the way he had come. “Ben found another one.”

“Shit,” said Amy as she started after the boy.

I broke into a run to catch up.

“This one was by the pool,” the boy said over his shoulder.

Amy stopped in her tracks. I almost ran into her as I tried to dodge to the right.

Amy’s face went grey and she looked up at me.

“This is the first one inside the main compound.” Her voice cracked.

I touched her shoulder and together we ran off after the boy.

Check out the previous scene at, Actress and the Warlock.

 
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Posted by on December 27, 2012 in Actress and the Warlock

 

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Actress and the Warlock

Since September 21 was the start of the next year of my life, I took some time to reflect and evaluate the past year. I have posted about most of the trials and tribulations of family and friends with medical issues. Also, I have posted about the lake cabin purchase and the positive effect that has been. All of these goings on have taken their toll on writing time.

Overall, I feel I am in a better place than I have been in a long time. My priorities are becoming clearer and writing is bubbling up to take on an important role going forward. In light of this revelation, I have decided to get back to the original purpose of this blog. My intention is to post more of my writing. Though I am still nervous about posting excerpts from my novel-in-progress, I have decided to share a few scenes from the MS as well as other “ideas in the works”. The plan is to post these every other week while trading off with writing tips, thoughts or concerns. Please, let me know if anything piques your interest.

The first one will be a continuation of a previous post, My Scene, a story line that began as a writing exercise. I thought the character was interesting and mixing urban fantasy with a western novel flair made me curious to write more of the story. I’m planning on this being a short story to see if the character and premise works. This short introduction sets up the initial meeting of the protagonist with his client and provides a little background.

    The rain started before I left Grandfather Puma’s hogan in Tres Piedres. Grandfather Puma was a shaman who lived up in the hills a mile from the black top. The fine dust that filled the tire ruts he called a driveway turned to red clay soup. I needed the Jeep Cherokee’s four-wheel drive to get back to the pavement that led east to Taos. The rain stopped before I reached the Rio Grande Gorge so, it was little help in washing off the Jeep before I got to the turn off to Amy Hatcher’s ranch. Since it wouldn’t make much of a first impression on an Oscar-winning actress if the Wizard King’s Marshall left a pile of red mud on her blue flagstone driveway, I headed into Taos to find a car wash.

     I came to a stop in the car wash stall and heard several plops, as the accumulation of New Mexico’ clay began to fall from the wheel wells. I stepped out of the Jeep and deposited the required two dollars into the machine. The power wash wand jumped as I pulled the trigger. Soon the Jeep bled red clay from every surface and every door crack. As I worked, I thought about my conversation with the shaman. 

     Puma was old even for a shaman. With age, comes wisdom and power. Puma was the top-tier of his profession. That made it doubly disturbing when I got the message that he needed my help because something was stalking a famous actress.

     After a sweat lodge, Puma told me that whatever was stalking Ms. Hatcher, was not a skin walker. That piece of information let me breathe a little easier as skin walkers are evil and vile creatures in Native American culture. I once saw my mother shy away from open conflict with one and she is one of the nastiest wizards in North America.

    Puma said that whatever the stalker was, it did use magic like a skin walker. It terrorized its victim and then fed on the victim’s fear. So far, there was no physical harm to Ms. Hatcher or her staff. However, the local animal population was dwindling and even Puma’s protection wards had not stopped carcasses from being left around Ms. Hatcher’s property. The mutilated remains were getting progressively closer to the main house and the messages attached to the carcasses carried greater threats. That’s when Puma sent word to me asking for my help. Puma was leaving the following morning to travel to Window Rock to perform spring ceremonies on the reservation. Therefore, I would be on my own until he returned in four days. That’s fine as I am used to working alone. It sounded to me like I was dealing with a black witch or a warlock. However, Puma said no normal warlock had ever broken his wards before. This did not make me happy. Before I left Puma’s, I took a few items out of an old canvas backpack I keep in the Jeep. I slipped my prayer stick and my power orb into the left pocket of my coat. A bracelet, made of silver wire twisted around seven bloodstones, went on my left wrist. I checked to ensure the stainless steel .357 magnum was loaded then, slid the worn leather holster onto my right hip. Maybe I was overdoing it a bit but, I would rather be paranoid, prepared, and alive than any of the alternatives that ended with me being dead.

Twenty minutes after I pulled into the car wash, my forest green Jeep pulled onto Highway 68 and headed north towards Ms. Hatcher’s ranch.

 
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Posted by on December 12, 2012 in Actress and the Warlock

 

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Writing is like a Train

For me writing is like a train.Train

The Warm Up:

Train: The engineer gets into the locomotive, turns on the power, and fires up the engine.

Writer: I create characters that I think will be interesting. Next comes a situation the characters find themselves in that will create tension and lead to further adventures. The setting is somewhere within the fantasy world I created years ago. Finally, I gather my plot notes (islands), character sketches (Traits and Tags), and a big bottle of water and head to the Storyboard. Once the islands have been laid out, I go to the computer.

Leaving the station:

Train: The locomotive winds up and builds to a roar. The train begins to inch forward. It crawls along for a few yards as the full weight of the train is taken on. Now there is some momentum and the train begins to pick up speed.

Writer: The blank screen is deafening. My mind is full of the possibilities that await the characters but, nothing is happening. There is a moment of panic and self-doubt. My hands reach for the keyboard as I try to formulate the first sentence. It has to be the best sentence of the story. The hook has to be perfect. I stop and take a drink from the water bottle. Then I remember that the first draft is always crap. My hands return to the keyboard and I peck out the first sentence. No, it’s not perfect but, it is a start. Take another drink. Back to the keyboard. Soon the first paragraph is complete and the head is getting into the game. Each paragraph that follows is easier than the last.

Coming up to speed:

Train: The train accelerates to its cruising speed. The power and momentum seem unstoppable. The cars jostle around over the uneven tracks. However, the train keeps going forward.

Writer: Once I get into a writing rhythm, woe unto any who disturb me. My mind is in high gear and the fingers begin to have a hard time keeping up. I have become the characters at his point and the story flows out like a lake draining though a broken dam. I just stay out-of-the-way and let it happen.

Coming into the next stop:

Train: The Engineer reduces the power and the train begins to coast. The friction of the wheels against the steel rails begin to slow the train down. As the train enters the station, the brakes are applied. The momentum of the train strains against the brakes because it wants to keep going. At last the train jerks to a halt and the sound of the locomotive drops to a hum. It’s not off, just waiting for the command to crank it up again.

Writer: The mind is racing forward ahead of the fingers and it sees the end of the scene/chapter/story before the fingers do. Once the mind reaches the end, it begin to coast. The fingers continue to bang away but by now fatigue is beginning to set in. The keystrokes are becoming softer and begin to slow down. The final paragraph flows forth but much weaker than before. Finally, the fingers type out the last few words and then become motionless on the keys. The Save button is pressed. The mind, however, is already working on the next scene/chapter/story. Wanting to move forward.

 
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Posted by on December 5, 2012 in Thoughts on Writing

 

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Writer’s Notebook in Action

My, but it has been a long time since my last post. I have been reading your blogs and commenting as time permits. The good news is, I have been able to get some writing done on my novel. More on that in the next post.

Over the last year, many blogs have discussed the importance of keeping a writer’s notebook. Something you carry with you to jot down things like: potential plot lines, interesting characters you see, phrases, dialogue, scenes, landscape, tag lines, poetry, pictures, and anything else that fires your imagination. Almost every writer I know of uses some form of ” The Notebook”.

I actually keep three active notebooks, one at home, one at work, and one in my commuter backpack. My home notebook goes with me when I take the CEO of my domicile on shopping excursions and to writer’s group meetings. It may sound disorganized but it seems to work for me. All three are used daily. They are not fancy, just spiral bound notebooks with hard covers

Last week I watched the Michael Jackson “BAD 25” special. Normally not my first choice of entertainment, it turned out to be kind of interesting. It included interviews with his many collaborators and went into some detail on the process of generating and producing songs. During one segment that discussed the song “Man in the Mirror”, we got to see the lyricist’s notebook in action. The album’s producer, Quincy Jones, was looking for a “feel good” anthem song for the album. He contacted songwriter, Siedah Garrett, and asked if she would work one up. She agreed and immediately pulled out her  “Lyric Book” to find a fitting theme. One line she remembered from a conversation months before pinged in her head.

At this point in the interview Ms. Garrett opened her actual “Lyric Book” and opened it to the page with the line that simply read, “Man in the Mirror.” The close-up of the pages was interesting as it showed how Ms. Garrett used her book.There were lines and lines of potential lyrics. Some just a few words and others were several lines long. Notes filled the margins and there seemed to be some color coding used as well.  It looked like any other Writer’s Notebook only tweaked to fit her specific “Genre”, song lyrics.

At the time she wrote the line in her book, she did not know that one day it would become the basis for a number one hit by Michael Jackson. She did not rely on her memory; she wrote it down because it sounded interesting. It could have been used for any number of song ideas. By the way, it would make a great flash inspiration piece, wouldn’t it?

We all use our Notebooks differently and that’s okay. It was interesting to me to see a how a world-renowned song writer used hers.

I recently wrote a scene introducing one of my antagonists. It did not feel right and I wanted to make sure this scene was right before I moved on. So, this weekend, I was killing time in a parking lot at the Domestic CEO’s favorite shopping facility and pulled out my Notebook. I started thinking about the plot and how each of the character’s should be introduced and when the major plot conflict should be inserted. I started by writing down the sequence as I originally worked it out. Then I began playing with the order that the character;s are being introduced and the then jotting down the effect that might have on the plotting. I tried to write down every possible combination. It sounds like story-boarding but, at this point it was more brain storming. After several pages, I reviewed the possibilities. One jumped out at me as the best approach based on the character types involved and overall story arc. However, I could see that given different character traits or slightly different plot line, several of the other sequences might be usable. I just know that I will revisit this list on some later project. Lord knows I won’t remember each possibility without it.

The solution I found is making me rethink the opening scenes. However, I believe the middle will be much easier to write once the characters and plot hooks are introduced properly.

What kind of Notebook do you use and how do you use it?

 
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Posted by on November 26, 2012 in Other Strangeness

 

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Next Big Thing

I have been off participating in other areas of my life for the past couple of weeks.

What do I find when I return but a very nice tag from Anne Woodman. The Next Big Thing is a fun little exercise going around some areas of the blogging world. You are asked to provide information on your current project.The topic for my next several posts will be WIP so, this makes a great segue.

Here goes.

What is the working title of your book?
Smoke & Goblet

Where did the idea come from for the book?
I have always liked the Luther Whitney character in Clint Eastwood’s movie, “Absolute Power”. It was a very different role for Eastwood and the Luther character was full of depth and interest. Seeing this type of character in one of the cities of my world was easy and helps me flesh out details relating to world-building.

What genre does your book fall under?
Fantasy – Sword and Sorcery

Which actors would you choose to play your characters in a movie rendition?
I’m not very good with actor’s names. The only one that comes to mind to play the main character is William H. Macy.

What is the one-sentence synopsis of your book?
When Liam Livsey tries to fence a stolen item, he finds out that this bauble is actually a phylactery that contains the source of all fear; and that the former owner stole it from a necromancer, with an insatiable appetite for new thralls, who is more than willing to add Liam, and everyone the thief knows, to his collection of souls if the phylactery is not returned.

Will your book be self-published or represented by an agency?
The original plan was to obtain an agent. That may change as I get closer to completing the manuscript.

How long did it take you to write the first draft of your manuscript? May we see an intro?
Currently unfinished. The target date for first draft completion is March 2013. Total time would be a little over a year. As for seeing an intro, I will be posting that in an upcoming post.

What other books would you compare this story to within your genre?
“Raven’s Strike” and “Ravens Shadow” by Patricia Briggs; “Witch” and “Warrior” by Marie Brennan

Who or what inspired you to write this book?
As I stated earlier, I love the character. The other area I want to explore is the different types of fear, their sources, and how fear affects different personalities.

 What else about your book might pique the reader’s interest?
Adoption relationships, death and necromancy, interesting settings within a fantasy city.

I am tagging some of the next big things:

Scott Weber

4amwriter

Shannon M Howell

Corey M P

Elisa Nuckle

Rules of The Next Big Thing:

*Use this format for your post
*Answer the ten questions about your current WIP (work in progress)
*Tag five other writers/bloggers and add their links so we can hop over and meet them.

 
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Posted by on October 29, 2012 in Journey into Fantasy

 

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The Story Question

As you may have surmised from my last post Pick a Story and Write, I have been battling with my Muse about my novel. In an effort to get back on track I went back to the beginning. No, not the opening scene, the real beginning. I opened up my writer’s notebook and re-read my story question. Story question? Yes, story question. What is this story about? Who is involved? What is the major plotline? What is the major conflict that needs to be overcome? Sometimes it’s called your elevator sales pitch. You know, you step into an elevator at a convention and standing there is the editor-in-chief of the publishing house of your dreams. It’s just the two of you and you decide to pitch your idea for a story. You have 12 floors to sell it. If it works you end up with a mutli-book contract. If you fail, your only route is self publishing. What do you say? If you have created the story question, you have half a chance. The story question is the 30,000 foot level view of your story. You shouldn’t give the details away. But you need enough the capture the person’s attention.

Since I’m not quite ready to pitch my story to the editor of my dreams, I use the story question to help keep me focused on where I wanted to go in the first place. When I review my story question, I ask myself, is the story I’m writing and the story question on the same track? Am I keeping with the flavor of the initial idea? Is the new direction better than what I originally intended? Do I need to modify the question or the story?

I strongly suggest that if you have not already done, take some time and craft a story question for your current project. Or, if you have a project that died too soon, try to craft a question for that story and see where you may have gone wrong with it.

My question has changed slightly since I first crafted it. However, the main points are still the same. Everytime I read it, I get a feeling of excitement that helps me press onward. I can see the individual scenes that need to take place to answer the question.

Here is my story question for “Smoke and Goblet”:

When a master thief tries to fence a stolen item, he finds out that it is not just another bauble but also, a phylactery that contains the source of all fear. The situation deteriorates when he finds out that the previous owner stole the item from a necromancer with an insatiable appetite for creating new thralls. With the necromancer, the previous owner, and even his own fence wanting him dead, can the thief find a way to dispose of the object without becoming dead, or worse and still make a profit?

I would love to read some of your story questions. Sell me on your idea. I have a twelve floor elevator ride to listen to you. 🙂

 
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Posted by on July 16, 2012 in Other Strangeness

 

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